philosophy is what you read off the cereal box

Friday, February 09, 2007

i bet you don't know the meaning of hurt. i bet you don't know the feeling of pain.

okay. so i don't think i will die. i'm like so freaking happy right now? i got myself a 16 when i expected myself to get a 48. i was crying even before i took my results, and i was hyperventilating. huiyi saw everything. and when i took my results (huiyi was with me the whole time, and i was gripping her hand real hard i'm so surprised that her fingers didn't just fall off) i just screamed when ms phay told me i got 16. and i screamed even louder when i heard i got an a1 for english. i was so freaking happy, i wanted to cry, but just no tears came out. (huiyi cried when she realised she passed her a math!) i was so happy that i was shaking and i couldn't even sign my name and huiyi was like "anyhow sign la!"
edward was a sweetie by calling me at around 3 before i took back the result slip. called him back first before calling mum, dad and auntie serena. didn't bother to tell my other two aunties. made them call me. :D
anyways, i won't be dying anytime soon! :D
fuck you. i bet you don't know what's the meaning of hurt or pain. i bet you don't know what i go through almost every over time. you blame me half the time for the things i've never done, you blame me all the time for the things that you've done wrong. don't you see why i turn cold sometimes? because YOU turned cold in the first place. it was YOU who ignored me in the first place. it was YOU who created this big fat fucking mess in the bloody FIRST PLACE! i tried to get it right. i took the blame for everything wrong even though i wasn't in the wrong. i said i was sorry for everything you were unhappy about, even though i wasn't in the wrong. but you never thought you were wrong. the hurt and pain that went through me went in one time too many till it changed to anger. i don't think i'll feel the pain or hurt anymore. maybe it'll just be anger. and then it might be better for us two. i kept this in for too long. i don't think i can't tolerate it any longer. you took it too far.

songofobsession:
none at the moment.
too pissed to have one.

spinning a tale ; @ 11:30 pm
hidden agendas and stolen kisses;